I need a little help with my definition essay of "A Good Mother". There are a couple of points my professor wants me to work on but I'm having a hard time coming up with anything. First I will post the points he wants me to work on and then the essay. Any suggestions will be very helpful!
Make sure you map out your essay in your introduction. You have solid points, but they need to be introduced earlier.
For each example, make sure you explain the consequences of that example. For example, in your first body paragraph, you write "A child could destroy her most prized possession, but she will still have a smile on her face because her child is safe. Often, when a child gets upset one says and does hurtful things, and yet a mother forgives and forgets. A mother's child grows and becomes an adult, and one might make decisions she might not agree with, but she will still love her child and be there when needed." What are the consequences of a mother acting like this and how does this help to define a mother
A Good Mother
Every mother has a moment in her life where she remembers every detail. She remembers the date, time, and place for the rest of her life multiplied by how many children she has. It is the moment when she gave birth to her child. At that moment, she makes a promise to herself and her child that she would be a good mother. A good mother has many defining traits, unconditional love, support, and being a good role model.
A good mother has a never-ending supply of unconditional love. A child could destroy her most prized possession, but she will still have a smile on her face because her child is safe. Often, when a child gets upset one says and does hurtful things, and yet a mother forgives and forgets. A mother's child grows and becomes an adult, and one might make decisions she might not agree with, but she will still love her child and be there when needed. No matter what, a good mother will always have unconditional love for her child.
A child needs support in a variety of ways, and a good mother is there to offer all of the support needed. Of course, a mother is there to support her child financially as best she can; she will always provide for her child to the best of her ability. A mother also provides the emotional support that her child needs; she is always there when her child may need a kiss on an injury, or simply an extra hug as they get off the bus. In addition, it is important for a mother to support her child's interest in extracurricular activities; sometimes that may require driving to practices and events or even encouraging her child to practice at home. Without the support of a good mother a child may squander through life never living up to his or her full potential.
Since children learn by example, it is important for a good mother to be a good role model. A good mother will show respect to her family, friends, and strangers; by showing all of them respect she teaches her children to be respectful. When a mother stands up for what she believes in, it gives her child strength and confidence to be an independent individual. A good mother will always be responsible for her actions and admit mistakes when she makes them. Being responsible shows her child that it is wise to think twice about choices one would make because he or she would ultimately be responsible for the outcome. Every child needs a good role model to look up to and a good mother is just that.
Children learn what they live, so when they are exposed to unconditional love, support, and a good role model, that is who they become. A mother can see her success of being a good mother in the product of her child. A good mother creates loving, supportive, and stand-up people; that is what every good mother wants her child to become. Good mothers possess all three of these defining traits that people can see in every mother.
Throughout my first pregnancy, people would say, "You're going to be a mom!" and I heard the words but I didn't really process their meaning. Yes, I was having a baby, but I couldn't make the connection between having a baby and becoming a mother. I simply didn't see myself as "mother." Pregnant lady, yes. Mother? No.
The baby came and I was, indeed, his mother. I was listed on the birth certificate that way, after all. But I still thought of him as "my baby" without thinking about what that made me. The reality didn't hit until I was filling out paperwork at the pediatrician's office. Next to the signature line on one of the forms was the word "Relationship," followed by a blank line. I hesitated a moment and then filled it in. Relationship: Mother. And there it was, in my own handwriting. I was someone's mother. It was terrifying.
Maybe it's because I never really thought about motherhood until I actually had kids, or maybe it's because I didn't have children until my 40s, but I never thought about how having kids would redefine me and I've never entirely comfortable being identified as a mother. I'm a writer, first and foremost. Even though I have been happily married for many years, and even though I now have two children, when people ask about me, the first thing I tell them is that I'm a writer. If they ask about my family, I'll tell them I'm married and have two kids. I don't deny my motherhood, but it isn't the first thing that comes to mind when I'm identifying who I am.
I don't know why it's so hard to say I'm a mother first. After all, my children are the center of my day-to-day routine — before I make any decision in my life, I must first consider them. Before I can write, before I can focus my attentions on my spouse or friends, before I leave the house for the day or plan a trip for a week, I have my children to care for, to consider. Their hurts are my hurts, their needs are my responsibility, their love is often what gets me through the day. But while they are at the heart of my identity, I do not identify as a mother. Is that a paradox? Perhaps so.
It's a strange and complicated issue, fraught with remnants from my childhood and my own mother's inability to identify as anything other than mother. My fierce independence, my need to maintain the identity I spent four decades developing, the desire to instill that same independence and self-awareness in my children — this, I think, is why I am not bound to the title of mother. But just because the word "mother" doesn't fit my own sense of identity doesn't make me any less of one, or any less interested in being the best one I can be. I want my children to know I am here for them always, but also to know they are growing up to be strong, smart and capable on their own, out from beneath my wing and the shadow of their mother.
I don't need a name tag that says Patrick's Mother or a license plate that screams MOMOF2 or a photo frame that proclaims me "World's Best Mom." I have no urge to be the class mom or the field trip mom (though I would be, if I were asked). I am content to exist in the background of my children's lives, announcing myself as mother only when I have to — letting them develop their own identities that have nothing to do with being "my" children.
I know I am a mother, and it is profoundly important to me to be their mom, but there is more to my identity than these two little human beings — more that came before them and more that will stretch beyond their childhood when they no longer need me they way they do now. They will grow up and move away to have lives, and families, of their own. And I will still be their mother, but I will need the rest of the parts of my life to fulfill and sustain me.
Yes, I'm their mother. Always and forever, they will be my babies. They know it and I know it, and if I have to, I'll write it on the form.
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